i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
