If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Randomize
