I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Randomize
