If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
