I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
