Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
