there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
