Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Randomize
