He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
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