But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
