i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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