Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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