So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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