Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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