just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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