May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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