True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
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i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
the night ended with taco bell and tears
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
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Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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