i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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