my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Maybe he injected his testicle?
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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