i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
