dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
