i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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