A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
