Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
