We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
