why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
