So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
