dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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