Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize