I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
my poor anus
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
