the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
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