Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
there was a trapeze. enough said
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I just gargled with NyQuil
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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