super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
