oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
