I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
