Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
