I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
