yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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