Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
