This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
