Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
