Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I just googled if crying burns calories
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize