he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
