oh god the rape fog is back!
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Bang-toberfest begins!!
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Randomize
