Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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