what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
