Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
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