Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize