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It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
i drank out of a bidet.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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