so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
