I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
