the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize