I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
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