I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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