Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
no more duck duck goose at the bar
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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