Grow some girl-balls and come out already
it was like eating out sand paper
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I'm getting married
To pizza
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Randomize
