he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
