when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
