Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
my shit smells like andre
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize