I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Ladies don't puke and tell
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
